People Change
by JAT.NJ
Summary: He didn’t care anymore. He didn’t need “Kara Thrace” drama.
1. Chapter 1

**Spoilers: Lay Down Your Burdens and a smattering of Season 2.**

**Disclaimer: To all the Lee/Kara shippers out there - I AM ONE OF YOU, but I couldn't let Lee's wounded pride go un-avenged. And I couldn't keep Dee or Anders around…just in case. Oh, and I don't own these characters.**

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- People Change -

They had to jump away to save the fleet. But after they had gathered their forces, they returned to New Caprica, chased off the Cylons and rescued the survivors. Kara Thrace was among them.

She was assigned to the Pegasus as CAG. Her husband was dead from pneumonia and somehow she had held him responsible for that. She had made that point loudly and clearly, accusing him of hoarding the medicine needed to save his life. Of course, the Cylon invasion didn't play into her conspiracy theory. And in true Kara fashion she had avoided having any further, logical, _mature_ discussion on the subject by avoiding him.

He didn't care anymore, though. He didn't need "Kara Thrace" drama. He had his wife, a loving, gentle, _sane_ woman. And right now, he needed to be with her.

Dee had given birth to their son yesterday. A beautiful baby boy, with Dee's mocha colored skin and his blue eyes. The delivery was difficult, there were complications, and their son only lived for four hours after he was born.

Dee never saw their child. She had lost a lot of blood and her heart had stopped during the delivery. The doctors were able to start it again but the loss of oxygen to her brain had put her into a coma. They told him her prognosis was "poor."

He walked into Life Station and sat in the chair next to her bed.

"Hi sweetie." He said, taking her hand in his. "Can you hear me?"

His only response was the monotone beep of her heart monitor.

He lifted her hand so he could hold it against his cheek. It was warm and dry and soft against his face.

"Dee, I love you. I need you to know that. I need you here. Please don't leave me."

He had been trying so hard to be strong for her, but then he saw her lying there - perfect on the outside but broken on the inside, and his strength drained away, replaced by pain and guilt. He could no longer hold back the tears. Dee had become such an integral part of his life over the past year and a half. A calming and stable force. Constant and predictable. Supportive and non judgmental. He couldn't remember what his life had been like without her. He didn't want to think of what it would be like without her. He collected himself then kissed her forehead.

"I have to go, but I'll see you later." He paused to stroke her hair. "I love you."

Two days later she stopped breathing on her own. A week after that, the doctors advised him that the EEG no longer indicated brain function. A week after that, he signed the order to remove her from life support.

He couldn't remember much after that. The funeral was a series a blurry photographs in his mind. Anonymous words of comfort from people he couldn't remember played in his head in random fragments. He felt detached from the memories as if they belonged to someone else. He vaguely remembered his father being there, discreetly supporting him during the service, whispering to him to be strong. Every day he got up, he went to work, he went to bed. Sometimes he slept, mostly he didn't. The crew respectfully left him alone for the most part unless something required his immediate attention.

He was in the passage way heading to the CIC…or somewhere…when he heard a voice.

"Lee?"

He knew that voice and at the moment he was not in the mood to deal with its owner so he kept walking, pretending not to hear.

"Commander Adama." the voice insisted, "May I speak with you, sir?"

He stopped and turned around.

"Yes, Captain Thrace?"

She took a minute before she spoke.

"I'm really sorry about Dee and the baby." She seemed sincere.

Anger flashed in his eyes. He wanted to lunge at her, grab her by the throat, throw her against the wall and knock some sense into that obnoxious head of hers. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs about how she ruined his life. Instead, he clenched his fists until his fingernails drew blood, then took a deep breath.

"Thank you, Captain."

He turned around to walk away.

"Lee."

He wheeled around again, clearly impatient.

"I never apologized to you about Anders. About that night…." She said.

His look softened a little. "You know what? Don't. It doesn't matter."

"So, are we ok?" She looked genuinely repentant and he hated her for it.

He closed the distance between them quickly and forcefully grabbed her arm, dragging her to the first available door and shoving her through it. He locked the door behind them and turned on her.

"Are we ok?" he was about to lose all control and he didn't care. "You selfish, egocentric, narcissistic, bitch. What? Your latest frak is dead so you want to be buddies again? Maybe play with me, make me think there's something between us until the next frak comes along, for old time's sake?"

"Lee, that's not fair.."

"No, it's not fair, Kara, but it's the truth. I was a good lay until Zack came along. Then, I was someone to flirt with and tease, but you spread your legs easy enough for Baltar."

"Lee!"

"Shut up!" He was shouting now. "Then there was Anders. What were you on Caprica a week? And you came back in love with _him_. Obsessed with _him_. Drank yourself into oblivion over _him_. You used me for a replacement frak until you could go back to Caprica and rescue _him_. And I let you do it, Kara. I let you do all of it because I loved you."

He registered the look of surprise on her face but was too angry to take any pride in causing it.

"I let you do it because every time you came back to me I thought it was _the_ time. The time you stayed."

She was crying now. He had finally hurt _her_ and somewhere in the very bottom of his heart, he was glad.

"Lee, I'm sorry," she sobbed, "I didn't know."

"Oh, bullshit, Kara. You knew. You knew and you didn't care. But now? Now it doesn't matter anymore because it's done. It's over. There is no us, not even on the basest level."

She winced at having her own words thrown back in her face.

"Now, I'm just a Commander," he said as he pointed to himself. Then he poked her in the chest. "And you're just a CAG. Now get back to work."

He walked out, leaving her crying behind him and finally, he felt free.


	2. Chapter 2

He felt free. At first. But as the days went by, the feelings of freedom were replaced by feelings of guilt.

Because he always felt guilty when he denied Kara anything, and this time he had denied her his forgiveness. And he had left her crying. Gods, he could be a jerk when it came to her.

He loved her. He had stopped trying to deny that a long time ago, but as hard as he tried to get her to love him back, she always found someone else to give her heart to. So he had given his heart to Dee and his love for her was real. But Kara was in his soul, and this rift between them was hurting it.

He put down the report he was trying to read. He couldn't concentrate on it. He wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything until he spoke to her and cleared this up.

He picked up the phone to have her paged to hisquarters then put it down again. It couldn't happen on his turf. It would have to be on hers, so she'd feel more comfortable. He checked his watch. The pilots' pre-flight briefing should be ending soon, he'd catch her in the ready room.

He stood up to button his jacket, getting ready to leave, when there was a knock on his door.

"Come in." He said continuing to button his jacket. When he looked up, Kara was standing in front of him, saluting him.

"That's not necessary, Kara."

"It's protocol, sir. You're my superior officer. I'm required to salute you."

Ok, she was still pissed. He saluted back.

"Please, sit down." He had stepped out from behind his desk and was motioning towards a chair in the sitting area.

"Can I get you anything?"

"No, thank you, sir." She sat in one of the chairs. He took the chair across from her and waited for her to speak.

"I can't stop thinking about what you said." She finally said.

"Look, I'm sorry.."

"You shouldn't be. I deserved it."

She looked at him for the first time since she walked into his office. "I'm transferring back to Galactica."

His heart sank. "But, you're the training officer and training is done here on Pegasus."

"The Admiral already approved the transfer of training operations back to Galactica." She handed him the orders. "I leave in half an hour."

She stood up to leave.

"Kara, wait. We need to talk."

"It's all been said, sir, there's nothing left to talk about." She turned and walked to the door.

"Kara, please don't do this."

"You said you loved me." She said without turning around.

"Yes."

"I loved you too." And then she walked out.


	3. Chapter 3

He punched the door after it closed behind her.

"Fine!" He shouted. "Go!"

She wanted him to chase her again. Well, he wasn't going to do it. What was he thinking, trying to apologize to her? He had been right to yell at her. She had spent years frakking with his head and it had been a long time coming. Everything he had said to her was the truth, and for some stupid reason he had hoped some of what he said might have gotten through to her. But apparently it hadn't because she was back to her old tricks.

Kara's idea of love required too much energy, too much emotion, and he didn't have either anymore. Love was supposed to be comfortable and easy. Not some insane roller coaster ride he kept getting thrown from Was he running away? Maybe, but he didn't care. After all, that's what she was doing by transferring back to Galactica.

He picked up the report again. A status update on the hydroponics program was exactly the banal drone he needed to get her out of his head.

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She walked down the passage way slowly, hoping that he'd open the door and come after her, but by the time she'd turned the corner, she knew he wasn't coming. She leaned back against the wall, slid down it until she was sitting on the floor and wrapped her arms around her knees. His insults from the other day kept running through her head. She _was_ selfish and self centered. She _did_ use him and she _did_ assume he would just keep putting up with it. But apparently, Lee Adama did have a breaking point when it came to her - her running off and marrying another man.

She had loved Anders because he didn't know her history and couldn't judge her by it. But Lee _was_ her history. He was a witness to every success, every failure, every hurt and every happiness. He was her oldest friend and she had just assumed he would always be there, but she was wrong. She had screwed this up so badly, it was beyond fixing. Transferring back to Galactica was the only thing she could think of to do. She was running away and it was cowardly, but when it came to Lee, she was a coward. Telling him she loved him was the bravest thing she had done, but it was too little, too late. It didn't mean anything to him now.

She picked herself up and brushed herself off. She was going to be late and she had to finish packing.

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He finished the report but now he had a headache and his office walls were closing in on him. He needed to go for a walk.

The Pegasus was a big ship. He could walk for hours without ending up in the hangar bay, so why was he there?

Because she was. She was walking around the raptor going over the pre-flight check list, her duffle sitting on the deck next to the hatch. She looked up and saw him, a look of surprise crossing her face. There was no walking away unnoticed now so he walked over to her.

"Did you come to say goodbye?" She asked softly.

He stared at her for moment. There was a pleading in her eyes, a longing for him to kiss her. He felt himself moving closer. Her breathing became heavier and she closed her eyes, waiting for his kiss.

He leaned down, grabbed her duffle and pushed it against her chest.

"Don't frak up." He said, and walked away.


	4. Chapter 4

The meeting with his father was over and now he was walking around the Galactica wasting time until his shuttle was ready. He passed the officer's lounge and stuck his head in hoping to get in on a Triad game, but there was only Starbuck, sitting at a table in the corner with a bottle of ambrosia. She looked as if she'd been at it for a while.

She looked up when he approached the table.

"What are you doing here?" She asked. There was no anger in her voice, just curiosity.

"I had a meeting with the old man."

He pulled up a seat next to her.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you that you shouldn't drink alone?" He asked.

She smiled and poured him a glass.

"I meant, what are you doing _here?"_

He emptied the glass and put it back on the table.

"I was thirsty."

She poured him another glass and he emptied that as well.

"Are you trying to catch up to me?" She asked, pouring him a third glass.

He smiled mischievously as he finished that glass too.

"Helo says you've started drinking pretty heavy again." He said casually.

"Helo needs to mind his own business."

"He's just worried about you."

"So, is that why you're here. Lee? To reign me in again?" She was getting angry.

"Again? I could never reign you in, Kara. I could never control you." He said calmly. "My mistake was trying to. I just wanted to get a drink..or three..and say Hi."

He checked his watch.

"I should go. It was good seeing you again." He kissed her on the cheek and stood up.

He made it to the door before the sound of her slamming her fists into the table stopped him in his tracks.

"You just wanted to say Hi? It was good seeing me again? What the frak is that supposed to mean?" She stood up, but didn't move from behind the table.

He spun around.

"What the frak did it sound like?" He said, matching her anger, then he dropped his shoulders and raised a hand to his forehead.

Sighing, he said, "Look, I don't want to fight with you anymore. I'm tired of being angry." He waved his hand to indicate the space between them. "There doesn't have to be anything more between us than this, but please, just, no more fighting. Ok?"

"No more than this?" She said, imitating him. She started walking towards him, the unsteadiness in her step giving away how drunk she was.

"How about this?" She was right in front of him now.

"Kara…" He warned.

She reached up an kissed him full and hard on the mouth. Her fingers dug into his hair, holding him close.

She felt so good and he had wanted this for so long, that let himself get lost in her kiss, returning it with equal fervor. He put his arms around her waist and pulled her in tight against him. All rational thought deserted him and he spun her around, pinning her against the bulkhead. His hands moved under her tanks and caressed the bare skin underneath. His mouth moved off hers and down her neck.

He knew he was about to make love to her and suddenly, it all felt too intense. He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her away.

"I've got to go." He said, flustered.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"Kara, I…I can't. I'm sorry." His voice broke a little.

"Don't you dare walk out on me, Lee." She snapped.

Her new flash of anger made him step back involuntarily.

"Please." She whispered, grabbing his arm. "Don't go."

Tears were running down her face and she tried to wipe them away.

"This is stupid." Sheturned away from him, still wiping away tears and trying to get herself under control. "I can't….I mean, I don't want to be alone." She said quietly, a sob escaping.

He pulled her close and she cried into his chest.

"It's all right, Kara." He whispered into her hair. "Let it go. I'm here."

He held her as she cried, trying to comfort her the best he could, and when her strength gave out, he picked her up and carried her to her rack. She fell asleep in his arms on the way.

He laid her gently on the bed, removed her shoes, and pulled her blanket over her. He wiped tears from her cheek, brushed stray strands of hair back from her forehead and turned to leave. She'd sleep it off and feel better in the morning.

She grabbed his hand.

"Stay?" she asked sleepily.

He opened his mouth, ready to list the reasons why he couldn't stay, but she had been so out of character tonight, so vulnerable, that he just smiled and nodded.

He kicked off his shoes, hung up his uniform jacket and climbed into bed next to her. She curled up into his arms and immediately fell back asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

She woke up with a man's arm draped over her waist.

_Sam?_ Her hung over mind thought, forgetting when and where she was. She started to turn towards him, but an angry pounding in her head stopped her short, making her remember. _Not Sam. Lee._ She felt guilty for feeling happy about that.

_Frak. _She knew how drunk she had been last night but Lee? She couldn't remember, but she was pretty sure he didn't plan on waking up in her bunk and would be pretty mad when he did.

Oh, well. She would wake him up soon, he had a ship to run after all, but she wanted this just a little longer. She pressed herself closer to him and felt him stir. His arm tightened around her and his face nuzzled into the back of her neck.

"How's your head?" He asked, his voice still gravelly from sleep.

"It's about to explode." She said, a little surprised at his demeanor. She sat up slowly and noticed for the first time that she was still wearing her clothes from yesterday. She turned around. Lee was sitting up against the wall of the bunk, also fully dressed. It was just like the bastard to not take advantage of a drunk woman who was throwing herself at him. He smiled at her, then his look turned serious.

"You were pretty upset last night." He said slowly, trying to tip toe into the conversation.

"And pretty drunk." She said, hoping that would serve as a good enough excuse.

"I've seen you that drunk, worse even. But never that upset."

"Don't you have to get back to Pegasus?" She said,talking over him. She went to her locker and pretended to look for something.

"Ship runs itself, really. I just sign the reports." He said, attempting to lighten the mood a little but she didn't fall for it so he changed tactics. "I'm not leaving until I know you're ok."

"I'm fine." She put on her best fake smile. "Really. I just drank too much and got a little…misty."

"Misty? Ok. Over what? Sam?" Jealousy stirred in his gut but he pushed it down.

Her back stiffened. "I miss him sometimes, but…" She stopped herself. After all those things he had said to her on the Pegasus, she didn't think he'd want to hear the truth, that she had gotten that way over him. That she couldn't get over what he had said to her. That she was scared to death that she'd lost him and that he'd never…._look _at her the way he used to. She was selfish, just like he accused her of being, but she couldn't help it. She needed him. She just couldn't bring herself to tell him that. "Yeah, you know what? It was over Sam. I got all drunk and stupid and girlie and I ……. you should go."

She turned away from her locker to find him standing right in front of her. She thought he looked disappointed.

"Kara," he said, brushing her hair behind her shoulders. "I've been a real…."

"Ass?" She finished for him.

He chuckled softly. "I was going to say 'jerk.' Look, whatever I've been, I'm sorry." He took her hand in his and studied it, preferring it to what he might see in her face. "Friends?"

Her brow knit and she swallowed back tears. "Of course." She said, hugging him. "I've missed you." She whispered into his shoulder.

She squeezed him hard then pulled away and stared into his eyes. He looked away first.

"Maybe I'd better….I mean, _I ought to _get back….unless you need me to stay." He stammered.

"I'm fine, Lee. Go command something."

They were holding hands as he started to walk away, their arms extending as the distance between them increased, but as his hand started to slip out of hers, she tightened her grip and urged him back.

"Me too." She said.

"You too, what?"

"I'm sorry." She bit her lower lip, trying to find the right words before deciding she was just going to go for it - head down, barrel through, frak the consequences. "I love you. I have always loved you, since the day I met you. I have never felt so strongly about another human being than I do about you. And it scares me. The intensity scares me. Losing you scares me. And so I chose relationships that were less...complicated. It was stupid of me to think you'd always be there."

She chanced looking up at him. He was staring at her, eyes wide.

"Lee, say something."

"That was one hell of an apology."

She weakly smacked him on the arm and silently thanked him for breaking the tension. They were still holding hands.

"So, what happens now?" He asked, pulling her a little closer to him.

"_Commander Adama, please report to the CIC. Pass the word for Commander Adama to report to the CIC."_

He rolled his eyes. "Damn. They always do that right at the best part." He threw his jacket on. "We'll finish this later?"

She nodded.

He started to open the door, then turned around as if he had forgotten something.

"I love you too." And then he walked out. But this time she knew he'd be back.

_Fin_

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A/N: Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed this story. Your support and comments are much appreciated. 


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